Over the years, I have had many opportunities to teach people. As a faculty member, I worked closely with undergraduate and graduate students to help them on their career paths. As a director, I also had the opportunity to work as a consultant.
Every time, you meet someone who calls me “you have no advice.” These know-it-alls have an answer for everything, and they find ways to make sure that everything they did was the right move. Often, these people find time to tell everyone how to do their job and meet many situations with more confidence than ability.
There are several flavors of these omnivores. You need to know which one you are dealing with before you can decide if and how to teach it.
He’s a cheater
Many know-it-alls cover up their worries thinking they can’t do their job. The main cause of imposter syndrome it is a misconception that if you are given a job it is because your boss thinks that you are already an expert in all areas of that job. As a result, people with imposter syndrome want to prove that they know things that they don’t really understand yet.
Thankfully, the fix here is easy.
You need your teachers to know that you don’t expect them to know everything. If they are new to their position, it should be clear that they are being hired for their strengths rather than what you are sure they can do. In this way, you let them know that you want them to be open about things they don’t know and don’t know how to do. He wants to help them develop into their role.
Setting these expectations can create trust that lowers the rate at which your instructors will assume they already know everything and opens the door for them to learn more.
Another great way to create a safe learning environment is for you—as the counselor—to talk about what you’re learning. In fact, if your mentee knows something you don’t, getting them to teach you something is a great way to reinforce that everyone should recognize their gaps in knowledge and skills and fill them.
It’s a BS-er
Some people like to feel like they have all the answers. They are glib and can sound convincing. Therefore, they have learned to extract meaningful responses in situations that lack the underlying factual information. At some point, this behavior becomes a habit, so a true BS-er doesn’t realize they’ve switched to BS mode.
To start advising these people, you have to start by calling BS. Organizations cannot succeed if people get involved without knowing what they are talking about. BS quickly undermines the trust of colleagues, clients, and customers. It must be clear that speaking without knowledge is not acceptable.
From there, you can start working with this team member on how to respond when they don’t have the information they need, and how to avoid going in when they don’t have full information. The easiest (and probably hardest) thing to teach people to do is say “I don’t know” with the promise of more information and get back to them. Most people—especially BS-ers—will hate to admit ignorance. But, it builds trust to be clear about the limitations of your expertise.
A narcissist
Know-it-alls kill a narcissist. Narcissists believe they are special and information should flow from them to others. They show their knowledge and engage in discussions. Their goal is to draw attention to themselves and make the world see how much they know and how well connected they are to the organization.
It can be difficult to teach a narcissist. Perhaps the most effective thing you can do is encourage their desire to succeed. Point out that they may believe that displaying their knowledge makes them appear powerful, but that often reduces their influence on others.
Focus on how they can best achieve their goals by listening to others and accepting other people’s ideas and input. It may seem counterintuitive to make people get along well with others for selfish reasons. It is okay to make someone do what is right, even if it is for their own benefit.
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