‘Nobody Wants This,’ your favorite rom-com, is not about healthy relationships

Nobody Wants Thisa Netflix rom-com about a rabbi and an atheist podcaster, is being hailed by the internet as an example of the healthy relationship we all deserve.

In fact, it is an illustration of how subtle sexism still permeates modern relationships. At its most serious, it’s an expression of ignorance that women aren’t asking for enough, even if they think they are. Either way, it’s a picture of how women still have it all.

[Warning: Spoilers incoming.]

Our estranged couple is Joanne (Kristen Bell), who hosts a sex and relationship podcast with her sister, and Noah (Adam Brody), a wisecracking rabbi who is expected to date a Jew if he wants to be promoted. Noah is cute as a puppy, and like a cute puppy he can goof around and get away with it.

We learn that Joanne has a troubled relationship history and thinks she’s emotionally superior—but she’s managed to cash in on her craziness, which is more than most of us can say. And by making money, I mean that Spotify wants to make millions for its podcasts.

Noah entered. Noah recently ended a three-year relationship with his Jewish girlfriend, Rebecca, without much explanation. Instead of looking at what he wants in his life, or why his relationship with Rebecca ended, he immediately enters a relationship with Joanne, who is not Jewish and tells her many times that he doesn’t want to mess around.

The show doesn’t call Noah out for making bad decisions and failing to use his words, or how this puts Rebecca and Joanne in a mess of self-doubt. It casts Joanne as an unrepentant tragedy, however, Noah is a very good paragon for her. In the third episode, her sister points out that they are an odd couple because Noah seems to be “responsible and kind” and Joanne is “kind of a bad person who is related to a man of God.” Meanwhile, Esther, Noah’s sister-in-law who is best friends with Rebekah, mistreats Joanne without directing her anger at the real culprit of Rebekah’s grief: Noah, a man of God who apparently can’t have a tough conversation.

But is Joanne the one with the emotional problems? Okay, then go ahead.

The punches keep coming, but the show hits its stride during episode five, when Joanne skips a meeting with Spotify to accompany Noah on a business trip (teaching Talmud to youth at a camp). Getting the deal means guaranteed salaries for Joanne and her team, but she wants to be with Noah, and decides that her carefree sister can’t hold her own at the meeting.

Noah, a man of God and a paragon, does not persuade Joanne to go to the meeting and take care of his people. Instead, he has Joanne’s tag in the camp, so he can take care of his people. When her boss does something unexpected, she tells Joanne to hide because if her boss finds out she’s having an affair with a non-Jew, she might not be promoted.

Joanne wakes up and runs back to her meeting with Spotify. In the time-honored tradition of rom-coms, Noah realizes he loves her and follows her. Then, he pulling him out of the meetingand asks her to be his girlfriend.

The credits roll and the women are left to face the fairytale ending: The dreamboat guy doesn’t give a s— about your career.

We never found out what happened to the Spotify deal, although Joanne’s sister is doing an excellent job of holding down the fort. Finally, as a grace note, it is hinted that Noah may also leave his job to Joanne.

But what we do know is that women still find a hole to hide when it comes to balancing their work and love.

Art imitates life

According to a 2023 survey by Deloitte, 40% of women said their partner’s work comes first. In McKinsey’s 2024 report, 40% of female partners said they were responsible for most if not all household chores. increase since 2016. A Harvard Business Review The article might sum it up best: The only way women can succeed at work is to have an incredibly supportive partner—or none at all.

Joanne lives in a fantasy land where she can buy a house with a lake. Most likely, you will be fine. But the average woman is not doing well. He still holds his fair share. He earns 82 cents on this man’s dollar. He has 13% less free time than men.

And if he finds a company, he faces great difficulties. Only 8% of business deals went to female founders in 2023. (As a podcaster, she’ll also face gender barriers: Only 27 percent of the most popular podcasts have a female host, and 60 percent of men say they’d prefer to listen to a male voice.) She deserves to be portrayed by a guy who’s cute as a puppy, who will celebrate her craziness, and be a stand-in. his strong work ethic—including telling him, “Yeah, sure, go to that meeting and close that meeting. deal. Daynight can wait.”