The year the famous Chinese ‘aunt’ gained independence

Sixty-year-old Chinese grandmother Su Min had no intention of becoming a feminist icon.

She was just trying to escape her abusive husband when she entered the street in 2020 in her white Volkswagen hatchback with a tent on the roof and her pension.

“I felt like I could finally catch my breath,” he said, recalling the time he left in his classic car. “I felt like I could live and find the lifestyle I wanted.”

Over the next four years and 180,000 miles, the video diaries he shared of his adventures, while chronicling decades of pain, earned him millions of fans online. They call her “auntie who rides the road” as she suddenly became a hero for women who feel trapped in their lives.

Her story is now a hit film released in September – Like a Rolling Stone – and she made it onto the BBC’s list of 100 inspiring and powerful women in 2024.

It was a year of great moments, but if he had to describe what 2024 means to him in one word, he says that word would be “freedom”.

As soon as Su Min started driving, he felt relieved, he told the BBC by phone from Shenyang – just before he headed south for winter in his new SUV with a caravan.

But it wasn’t until 2024, when he finally filed for divorce, that he found “another kind of freedom”.

It took a while to get there: it’s a strange process in China and her husband refused to divorce her until she agreed to pay him. They settled for 160,000 yuan ($21,900; £17,400) but she is still waiting for the divorce certificate to be issued.

But he is determined that he does not want to look back: “I say goodbye to him.”

In her new life on the road, Su Min’s job is hers.

His videos only feature him. Even though he is driving alone, he doesn’t seem lonely. He chats with his followers as he records his journey, telling them what he has cooked for, how he spent the previous day and where he is going next.

His audience takes him to places they never knew they could long for – the snow-capped mountains of Xinjiang, the ancient river towns of Yunnan, the sparkling green lakes, the vast grasslands, the endless deserts.

They admire his bravery and envy the freedom he has embraced. They have never heard such a raw account about the reality of life as a “Chinese aunt”.

“You are brave! You chose to break free,” wrote one fan, while another urged her to “live the rest of your life well on your own!”. Another woman sought advice because she also “dreams of driving alone” and her surprised follower said: “Mom, look! “

For others, the takeaway is very practical but encouraging: “After watching your videos, I learned this: as women, we must have our homes, make friends far and wide, work hard to be financially independent, and invest in unemployment. insurance!”

Through it all, Su Min ponders her past. A stray cat he meets on the road reminds him of this, both of them “have faced the wind and rain for many years but we still love this world with dust on our faces”. A visit to the market, where she smells the pepper, evokes the “smell of freedom” because throughout her marriage spicy food was forbidden by her husband who did not like it.

For years Su Min was a dutiful daughter, wife and mother – even as her husband repeatedly beat her.

“I was a traditional woman and I wanted to stay in my marriage for the rest of my life,” she says. “But in the end I realized that I was getting nothing for all my energy and effort – only beatings, violence, emotional abuse and gaslighting.”

Her husband, Du Zhoucheng, admitted to beating her. “It’s my fault that I hit you,” he said in a video he recently shared on Douyin, China’s TikTok platform.

A high school graduate, he had a government job in the water department for 40 years before retiring, according to local media reports. He told the outlet in 2022 that he hit his wife because she “talked” and that it was “normal”: “In a family, how can there be no collisions and crashes?”

Su Min married Du Zhoucheng “really to avoid father’s control, and to avoid the whole family”.

He was born and raised in Tibet until 1982, when his family moved to Henan, a busy province in a valley along the Yellow River. She had just finished high school and got a job at a fertilizer factory, where most of the women she worked with, including those under 20, already had husbands.

Her marriage was arranged by a partner, which was common at the time. She had spent most of her life cooking and taking care of her father and three younger brothers. He says: “I wanted to change my life.

The couple met only twice before the wedding. He wasn’t looking for love, but he hoped that love would grow once they got married.

Su Min never found love. But she had a daughter, and that was one of the reasons she was convinced that she needed to endure the abuse.

“We are always afraid of being ridiculed and blamed when we divorce, so we all choose to be patient, but in reality this kind of patience is not right,” he said. “Later I learned that, in fact, it can have a big impact on children. The child doesn’t really want to be patient, they want you to stand up bravely and give them a friendly home.”

She thought about leaving her husband after her daughter got married, but she soon became a grandmother. Her daughter had twins – and work was called again. He felt that he needed to help them, even though he had now been diagnosed with depression.

“I felt that if I didn’t leave, I would get very sick,” he said. He promised his daughter that he would take care of the two boys until they went to kindergarten, and then he left.

The spark of inspiration for his escape came in 2019 when he took to social media. He found a video of a traveler living in their van. This was it, he thought to himself. This was his way out.

Even the epidemic did not stop him. In September 2020, he left his marital home in Zhengzhou and never looked back as he passed through 20 Chinese provinces and over 400 cities.

It is a decision that really affected Chinese women. To her millions of fans, Su Min offers comfort and hope. “We women are not just someone’s wife or mother… Let’s live for ourselves!” wrote one fan.

Many of them are mothers who share their own problems. They told her they too felt trapped in abusive marriages – some said her stories inspired them to get out of abusive relationships.

“You are a hero to thousands of women and many are now realizing that a better life is possible because of you,” reads one of the highlights of one of her most viewed videos.

“When I’m 60, I hope I can be as free as you,” another commented.

The third woman asks: “Aunt Su, can I go with you? I will pay all the expenses. I just want to take a trip with you. I feel trapped and very depressed in my current life.”

“Can you have the life of your dreams?” Su Min pondered the call. “I want to tell you that no matter how old you are, if you work hard, you will find your answer. Like me, even though I am 60 years old now, I found what I was looking for.”

He admits that it was not easy and he had to live frugally with the pension money. He thought vlogs could help raise money – little did he know they would take off.

He talks about what he’s learned over the years and his latest challenge – finalizing a divorce.

“I haven’t received my divorce certificate yet, because the law has a cooling-off period and we are now in that period.”

One of her fans wrote that the money she paid her husband was “worth every penny”, adding: “Now is your chance to see the world and live a healthy, unbridled life.” Congratulations, Auntie – here’s to a colorful and fulfilling future! “

He says it is difficult to get a divorce because “most of our laws in China protect the family. Women often don’t divorce because of family differences”.

At first, he thought that Du Zhoucheng’s behavior might improve with time and distance, but he said that he was still throwing “pots and pans” when he came back.

He has only called her twice in the past few years – once because her highway access card was tied to her credit card and she wanted him to pay back 81 yuan (£0.90). He says he hasn’t used that card since.

Undeterred by the delay in getting a divorce, Su Min keeps planning more trips and hopes to one day travel abroad.

He is worried about overcoming language barriers, but he is confident that his story will resonate around the world – as it did in China.

“Although women in all countries are different, I would like to say that no matter where you are, you must behave well. Learn to love yourself because if you love yourself, the world will be full of sunshine.”

Additional reporting by Fan Wang in Singapore