Meet me and I’ll tell you a story about a dark sky that makes mid-afternoon feel like midnight, and a source of light that makes it bearable. Once a year, winter comes with a quick chill of the ears and a craving for a vat of hot chocolate. It brings all the good things: holiday lights, snow-white blankets in the park and thoughtful gifts. But it also invites in the cold and dense darkness. I grew up in upstate New York, where the sunlight goes past 4:30 in the afternoon in December and January. That said, this is not a new experience for me, but that didn’t make it any less painful. In fact, it caused a sense of dread that began to emerge in late September.
But when I moved to Scotland, 4:30PM was almost 3PM and the sun didn’t fully rise until I woke up. Even in London where I’m based, it gets dark easily by 4PM with very short days. Like many people, the darkness leaves me exhausted while also taking a toll on my mental health.
Now to the hero of this story: my BROKEN lamp. SAD stands for seasonal affective disorder, a depressive disorder caused by the changing of the seasons (usually dark days, although some people experience it in the summer). You don’t even need to have a diagnosis of SAD to use a SAD lamp, a light therapy lamp or a wake-up lamp – all words for the same thing.
I bought Lumie’s Vitamin L light bulb a few years ago before my first Scottish winter and have used it every year since. The Vitamin L lamp is a small rectangle that provides 5,000 lux at walking distance or 2,500 lux at about arm’s length. The latter is the recommended distance for use and more or less how far it stays with me. It is eight inches wide by 11 inches long and a little over three inches deep. It can be vertical or landscaped, too, although I find that it doesn’t fit well in the end. The lamp makes up the entire front panel and has a simple power button on the back.
The lamp sits on the floor next to my kitchen table, where I will prop it up almost every morning when I eat breakfast or start work. As a big fan of sleep, I rarely use it on weekends unless I wake up early to run somewhere and I tend to forget or be busy in the morning for at least one work day. But if I have it on, I’ll keep it shining from the corner for 30 minutes to an hour, depending on how much time I have.
This light is far from an additional table lamp to add a little light. It is very – I repeat for good measure – a lot bright light. And yet, despite being simulated sunlight, there are no UV rays to worry about. It really wakes me up how light it is and the daily routine adds a nice structure to a busy, cold morning.
I have never received a diagnosis of SAD but I do have panic disorder which causes anxiety and bouts of depression, the latter of which is more pronounced during these cold and dark days. I don’t know how much is the bulb and how much is the placebo, but it really helps keep my negative emotions at bay and makes the dark days – a little – more bearable.
Overall, if you dread the dark of the winter months like I do, I highly recommend trying this Lumie flashlight or checking out one of the other options on the market. Just the habit of opening it most days makes me feel like I’m doing something to fight depression. Also, it’s really hard to get tired when there’s a bright light shining around you.
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